What is Your Opium

SEND FLOWERS ON HER BIRTHDAY

Oh dear. If you really want to turn her on, bake her some banana-nut bread. Bear with us… not only will she appreciate your thoughtful effort in the kitchen but the scent of baked goods, particularly banana-nut bread, has been shown to enhance vaginal bloodflow and sexual arousal, says Alan Hirsch, director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. Try Delia Smith’s banana and walnut loaf recipe at www.deliaonline.com/recipes. It’s simple to follow and the results will be delicious.

SPEND TWO MONTHS’ SALARY ON AN ENGAGEMENT RING

It’s more important to spend appropriately. If the plan is to buy a house and you spend £10,000 on a rock, she might be annoyed.

Your best bet is to enlist her best friend – she’ll know what your intended wants, and she’ll love knowing and not telling. Plan B: give your intended a placeholder ring when you propose, then take her along to buy the real deal. Do research and show her three that you think she’d like. Expectations and price levels – are thus set. If anything, she’ll begin to think more realistically, and perhaps even go for a smaller stone.

REPLACE YOUR DISPOSABLE CONTACTS EVERY TWO WEEKS

If a contact lens is approved for continuous day and night wear for two weeks, it can last twice as long if you wear it only during the day, says ophthalmologist Keith Baratz.

Let a dog sniff your hand before petting him

Scent has nothing to do with his comfort. He’s reading your body, says animal behaviorist Suzanne Hats. So stand up straight and still, slightly turned to the side and looking away. Once he’s invaded your space and realizes you’re cool, scratch him under the chin. Anything that comes over his head is threatening.

SEND A THANK-YOU LETTER AFTER YOUR JOB INTERVIEW

But we’re NOT talking about a traditional thank-you note. Consider yours a handwritten homework assignment. Avoid the usual “It was great to meet…” and instead go with “Here are five ideas that will boost your productivity”, says etiquette adviser Peter Post. Where possible, send a letter rather than an email – it shows you’re prepared to put time and effort into a task.

Change the oil in the car every 3,000 miles

You know who recommends this? Those five-minute-oil-change places. And if you hadn’t heard, the barber on the high street says you need a haircut, too. The fact is, cars warm up more quickly now, so less unburned petrol and water seeps into the crankcase. Translation: every 5,000 to 6,000 miles is fine, says car maintenance expert Chris Johansson.

TELL THE KIDS ABOUT YOUR WILD PAST

Teenagers NEED distance from their parents. For the most part, there’s no benefit in explaining exactly how you got to be known as the Human Funnel, says Tony Wolf, a child psychologist and author of Get Out of My Life, But First Take Me and Zoe into Town: A Guide to the New Teenager (Profile, £6.99). It can be daunting for your children to hear about what a party animal you were or how many women you seduced, as they may feel they can’t live up to your standards. Or, worse still, they may cringe in horror and respect you less as a result.

If they do inadvertently hear about your past – because what are Christmas Day and uncles for? – don’t deny what you did, but don’t go into detail (not that you’d remember it clearly, anyway). “General is much better than specific,” says Wolf.

BRUSH AND FLOSS TWICE A DAY

In terms of dental health, once a day is fine. Plaque takes 24 hours to harden. One really good brushing every 24 hours is better than two half-arsed attempts. But when you do get round to it, commit yourself to the job – spend at least two minutes brushing your teeth and gums. For better detoxing and cleaning of your teeth and gums, use oil pulling with coconut oil method. And do it before bed. Check out the oil pulling coconut oil side effects. And do rinse with mouthwash in the morning.

DO A TESTICLE SELF-CHECK ONCE A MONTH

Hit!  Myth! Testicular cancer is the most common tumor in 18 to 40- year-old men. “The only way it’s diagnosed is through a self-exam, because men in this age group rarely see a doctor,” says Mark Litwin, professor of urology at UCLA in the US.

The best time to check is in the shower, when the scrotum is soft and warm. A lump feels like a rock and is painless to the touch. The tissue you feel next to the testicles is the tube system, and it’s supposed to be there. Over 40? Then ignore all of the above. Testicular cancer is highly uncommon at this age, says Litwin. Any self-grope is optional.

INSTALL A FIREWALL IN YOUR COMPUTER

Especially if you have a cable connection and leave your computer on all day. That makes it easy to hack into. Your internet service provider should offer virus and Spam protection for free or at a nominal charge. Send them an email.

Over 15,000 children under the age of 20 die each year from accident or illness-15,000 homes where bereaved parents have to learn to come to terms with what has happened and start to build up their lives again.

For the loss of a child seems, somehow, unnatural. Losing a parent is losing your past. Losing a child is losing your future. Those of us who have never suffered in this way can only imagine the feelings of pain and loss. But those who have say there are many things to cope with: coming to terms with feelings of depression, anger, guilt and isolation, trying to stay calm with valerian root benefits.

And then, society turns a blind eye. People will cross the road rather than share the bereaved parent’s grief. But talking is what the bereaved parent needs most of all, and its one of the chief aims of an organisation called Compassionate Friends, which was set up by a hospital chaplain, the Rev Simon Stephens, in 1969.

“Those who are bereaved need to feel that they can talk to someone who will listen and understand,” says Brenda Trimmer, national secretary. “And that is what we are here for.”

The organisation now has a national network—and even branches abroad—and operates by putting newly bereaved parents in touch with others who lost a child in similar circumstances some years earlier. A quarterly newsletter is sent out to parents.

“We are in Compassionate Friends either because our bereave­ment happened sometime back and we are through it and feel we’ve got something to offer to others,” says Brenda, “or we have been recently bereaved and have not yet come to terms with it.”

Brenda joined the organisation seven years after the death of her child, but feels she would have suffered far less had she known about it at the time. —

On September 13 this year, Compassionate Friends launched a nationwide publicity campaign, to spread the message to hospitals, doctors, social workers, psychiatrists—and to bereaved parents themselves. As Brenda, says: “We are at the end of the telephone. Come and get us.”

Rain, as we all know, tends to pour from the skies when we least expect it! With Cortina Kemp’s selection of great lightweights, you’ll get the protection you need at a reasonable price, as well as looking smart, come rain or shine. Don’t forget to keep yourself healthy with acai berry and many vitamins. Some can be folded away into your hold all, too, so you need never be caught unawares again!

1. Lightweight PVI parka, £4.95, in s, r and 1, from Chelsea Girl Cotton velvet jodhpurs £22.95, in sizes 8 to 14 by Freemans (write t Sue Snowden, Freemans 139 Clap ham Road, Leo don SW9). Shirt, £15.5( sizes 10 to 16, by Cachel Sweater, £11.95, in m and 1, by Razzy. Ankl boots, £18.99, byTukka’s Brolly, £5, by Fulton.

1. Trench-style polyure une raincoat, £39.95 sizes 10 to 14, by Top pat. Sweat shirt, £15 s, m and 1, by Le oper. Stretch jeans 25, sizes 8 to 16, b: e Cooper. Ankle boots 18.99, by Tukka’s.

1. Hooded raincoat 4.99, in s, m and 1, b: our Seasons. Fine-kni weather, £1799, in s r and I, by Gloria Van rebuilt from Debenhams ‘cotton trousers, £19.95 zes 5 to 15, by Gloril ‘anderbilt Juniors ootees, £18.99, by Tuk a’s. Brolly, £8, by Fultm.

1.  Nylon reversible zip up blouson jacket, £40.5( sizes 10 to 16, by Shos ers. Sweater, £9.99, i s, m and 1, by Wranglei Jeans, £18, sizes 8 t 16, by Lee Cooper Boots, £18.99, Tukka’s sizes 10 to 16, from selected branches of Ken¬dalls.

1. Norwegian-style patterned sweater, £9.99, sizes s and m, from major branches of Dorothy Per-kins. Fine corduroy trous-ers, £13.99, waist sizes 26 to 36 in, by Rebs from branches of Jean Jeanie. Ankle boots, £18.99, by Tukka’s. Knitted gloves, £1.95, by Dents. Brolly, £5, by Fulton.

1. Padded stud-fasten hooded raincoat, £17.95, sizes 10 to 16, by Four Seasons. Cord trousers, £13.99, in waist sizes 26 to 36 in, by Rebs. PVC wellies, £4.49, from Dolcis. Knitted gloves, £1.95, by Dents.

…Off piece to make your seasonal wardrobe truly unique

Palette London… offers a unique shopping experience in the heart of Islington by fusing hard to fmd vintage and con­temporary fashion, with an eclectic mix of soft furnishings, books, tableware and lots of other gift ideas. 21 Canonbury Lane, London Ni 2AS. Call 020 7288 7428 or visit wwwPalette-London.Com

American Graffitti… Not just another retro clothes store, it is a visual treat of glamour and allure. For details of Manchester’s finest go to www.americangraffitti.co.uk or tele­phone 0161 228 3677.

Marilyn Moore… Divine vintage inspired cashmere knitwear and tweeds, including this eccentric plaid coat for £349.Don’t miss the gorgeous selection of scarfs, gloves and boho jewellery. Find them at 7 Elgin Crescent, Notting Hill,

Armstrong & Son… Edinburgh’s largest vintage emporium, with a prestigious celebrity following, is a treasure trove of retro and vintage gems. Specialising in vintage eveningwear. Main branch, 83 The Grassmarket, Edinburgh, 0131 220 5557. www.armstrongsvintage.co.uk

Divine…These simple words transform “just living” to an abundant life. This Divine bracelet is part of Shelley Cooper’s Chinoiserie collection. To see the bracelet and other vintage inspired jewellery please visit www.justdivine.co.uk or call 020 8874 0616. Open 9am-4pm Monday – Friday.

Marshmallow Mountain… Visit their newly extended boutique for the widest and choicest selection of vintage boots and shoes in London and also get advised on cranberry extract. Ground Floor, Kingly Court, off Carnaby St, London Wl. Call 020 7434 9498, Oxford Circus tube.

Martha’s Closet… Women’s Vintage Online. An eclectic mix of the original vintage clothing that inspires today’s hottest trends. Fashion from the 60′s, 70′s and 80′s. Visit www.marthascloset.co.uk or call 01326 372 132.

Berganza… A family run business in the heart of Hatton Garden, who offer a personal, helpful and informative service which is so hard to find today. They have a large variety of antique jewellery and Objects de Vertu specialising in Victorian, Edwardian and art-Deco engagement rings. 88-90 Hatton Garden, London Eel N8PN.

Pirate Verte… A unique , jewellery and accessory web-site, specialising in ‘one-off’ handmade and bespoke pieces. A fusion of authentic sea trinkets, with treasures inspired by a pirates eye for stolen booty. The collection consists of bracelets, necklaces, earrings, pins, bags and other accessories, all handcrafted in-house! Call 0845 056 3782 or buy online at www.pirateverte.com

Biba Lives… For the very best original 1930′s to 1980′s Vintage Clothing Accessories. Choicest selections for the discerning collector! Classic items for v special occasions. For sale and for hire. Over 30,000 garments and accessories store and at their warehouse. Grou floor shop: Alfie’s Antique Market, Church Street, Marylebone, London, NW8 8BT. 020 7258 7999. www.bibalives.com

Candy Says Vintage Clothin Online boutique offering divine handpicked men’s and women’s vintage clothes and accessories from the 1940′s – 1980′s. Many new items added every week. Fast postage worldwide. Returns/refunds policy. Visit www.candysays.co.uk.

Attica… comprises two floors of glamorous vintage clothing and accessories men and women, plus an extensive range of 1950s/t Is furniture, lamps and deco Perfect for parties and p sents. Attica, 2 Old Geor Yard, off Highbridge, Newcastle upon Tyne NE 1EZ. 0191 2614062.

Retro Woman… Sell for cash or exchange your clothes, bags, shoes and jewellery etc. at 20 Pembridge Road, London W11. They are special stockists of designer and retro. You’ll also find a huge variety of contemporary and high street stock in their jam.

What Katie Did… The place faux vintage lingerie and hosiery. Their new Autumn / Winter collection has just been released and this season must have is a powermesh waist cincher: perfect for creating that Roland Mou nipped-in-waist look. Shop online at whatkatiedid.com or call them for a free catalogue on 0845 430 8743.

Rokit… Head to Rokit for the biggest and best selection of vintage clothing, a company adored by vintage veterans. A one-stop shop for clothes-lovers seeking out charming one-off finds, individual examples of the latest trend, and elusive designer pieces. Covent Garden: 42 Shelton Street, Camden: 225 Camden High Street, Brick Lane: 101 107 Brick Lane, Brighton: 23 Kensington Gardens. www.rokit.co.uk

Quite a few problems originate from inside our personal minds. They will aren’t the result of occasions, misfortune, or other men and women. Many of us result in these through your own terrible emotional practices. Listed here are 13 practices it is best to make time for instantly for you to free yourself through the a lot of difficulties every one will likely be tension.

• Stop pouncing to be able to conclusions. There’s two widespread tactics this particular behavior improves people’s challenges. Very first, they believe they’ve known what will take place, so they really end payment interest plus take action on their idea as an alternative. People tend to be poor fortune-tellers. The vast majority of what they have to believe can be inappropriate. Which enables the action completely wrong also. Your second area of the following behavior is taking part in this mind-reader and if you are aware of why people today complete their business or even what they’re thinking. Completely wrong again, major. Far more associations are usually wrecked with this unique form of battiness when compared with some other.

• Don’t dramatize. Many individuals inflate small cons directly into life-threatening accidents as well as answer accordingly. This kind of routine makes mountain ranges out from molehills and provide people stresses in which sometimes don’t can be found as well as are incredibly small these people aren’t well worth worrying pertaining to regardless. So why do they generally do it? You will never know? It’s possible for making their selves feel plus sound more significant. Whatever your reason, it’s stupid along with harmful to your home.

• Don’t develop regulations. An enormous amount of such “oughts” plus “shoulds” that you simply wear are in all probability needless. All of that they certainly for you personally will be have you feeling stressed or even guilty. What’s the idea? If you use these kind of unreal guidelines about yourself, you clog up your mind along with small constraints as well as unprofessional purchases. And whenever you attempt to help impose all of them with some others, you create oneself right into a intimidate, a boring nag, or perhaps a self-righteous bigot.

• Avoid stereotyping or maybe labeling people or even scenarios. The text you make use of might holiday an individual upward. Damaging as well as critical words generates the same quality associated with thinking. Driving things in pre-set areas hides its authentic meaning along with restrictions your notions so that you can no function. Observe what’s at this time there. Don’t ingredients label. You’ll be amazed on that which you locate.

• Quit to be a perfectionist. Lifestyle isn’t all or nothing at all, white or black. Often, suitable usually means the thing it states. Find the perfect career as well as you’ll most likely by no means realize its. In the meantime, all of the other folks look more painful than they tend to be. Try for the perfect relationship and also you’ll in all probability devote your lifetime on it’s own. Perfectionism is often a mental disease that should destroy your entire pleasure and also give back in search of what can never be obtained.

• Don’t over-generalize. A couple of challenges are certainly not a sign of long lasting failure. The actual peculiar succeed doesn’t turn an individual right guru. A particular event-good or bad-or possibly two to three don’t usually indicate a permanent movement. Generally things are all precisely what there’re, no more.

• Don’t start out hence privately. Plenty of people, also your pals and friends, aren’t referring to a person, pondering you actually, and also interested in an individual in the least intended for 99% of that time period. A lot of persons with your group or perhaps location have in all probability never got word of you together with don’t in particular would like to. The actual ups and downs of lifetime, the warmth and coldness associated with others, aren’t individual in the least. Deceiving potentially they are only will allow you to be far more unhappy as compared to is essential.

• Don’t assume how you feel are trustworthy. All about those feelings isn’t usually a good warning of how situations are. Simply because you believe this, this doesn’t ensure it is true. Sometimes that sensation originates from nothing more powerful when compared with staying tired, eager, agitated, or perhaps on the verge of get a head-cold. The long run won’t change because you sense bad-nor since you happy. Thoughts could be correct, however they aren’t the truth.

• Don’t permit living depress you. Retain doing getting hopeful. When you assume awful points in your life and operate, you’ll constantly discover them. A damaging mind-set is much like looking at the community as a result of muffling, grungy contacts. You place any scratch and disregard or perhaps price cut devices. It’s awesome precisely what isn’t at this time there unless you want to start to look for doing it. Naturally, if you want to find warning signs of beneficial items, you’ll locate those people very.

• Don’t hang on towards beyond. This is the most important suggestion of all: release and progress. The vast majority of anger, disappointment, woes, plus hopelessness these days derive from men and women reluctant to be able to previous injures and complications. The better you convert these folks in your mind, the actual even worse you’ll sense and the even larger they’ll search. Don’t try to battle distress. Release in addition to go forward. Achieve that and you’ve taken away almost all the capability hurt you.